Unfriending in real life

Having friends is a blessing in most cases, but what if you really don’t like a person and want to unfriend him or her? Well, most people just stop calling or meeting up with that person. But that’s not the right way and makes the person think why are you avoiding him or her. So this makes our 2nd in the series of horrible advices.

How to unfriend people in real life:

  1. Text him/her completely random things in the midnight and early morning.
  2. Whenever you have a silly argument about something, say the words “you suck” multiple times in the most silly voice possible.
  3. Whenever that person asks you to do something, call him/her, meet up with him/her multiple times and go through the steps you’re going to do to accomplish that task. Make sure you do this infront of other people or mutual friends if you need to unfriend more people at once. For example if that person asks you to lend him your car, meet up with him and tell him this in this order:
    1. First I am going to go home and think about it.
    2. Then I am going to consult my aunt if its ok to lend you my car.
    3. After that if she says ok, I am going to ask my parents, I don’t want to piss them off.
    4. If they too agrees, I am going to fill in the gas and then empty it before giving it to a mechanic to check for any issues. Tell how you’re going to take the permission of your mechanic as well for lending it to him.
    5. After that, you can take the car from my house.

      Repeat this over through a call one more time. And then arrange another meet up or saying how your parents were not home, so you’re going to wait at their place until they comes back. Also tell that person, you will be updating every now and then about the status.

  4. Ask for silly favors frequently you know which s/he can’t do. For example, ask for $1539 in 1 cents.
  5. Ask for random advises, like ask which toothpick to use, whether you should floss 5 times a day or 6 times.
  6. Ask him or her, why they consider you as their best friends multiple times a week.
  7. Whenever they say something they are going to do, ask if their mother would like it.

If you do this for 2 weeks straight, you will have successfully unfriended him or her. Do you have anything in your mind which you think we should add to this list? Do let us know by commenting below.

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